On the front of the envelope there was a photograph of a dog. The caption read, Millie was tortured to death by her owner. I never open those envelopes. I throw them away. I'm sorry, but I can't bear to read stuff like that. It haunts me. It literally gives me nightmares.

It's not that I don't care. I do care. But I keep sending money to various animal welfare organizations -- and presumably, so do many other people -- yet money doesn't seem to be solving the problem. It's sort of like the $800 billion bail-out. There are some things that you can't fix simply by throwing money at them.

People who abuse aimals are criminals, and we deal with criminals by punishing them. The prospect of punishment is a deterrent. If there weren't laws against murder, there would be a lot more of it. (There are several people I'd cheerfully send to Hell, if I thought I could get away with it. And I'm nice.)

Unfortunately, the laws that protect animals are so weak and toothless -- where they exist at all -- that nobody takes them seriously. In law, animals have monetary value, but that's all. They're things, not beings. They don't have rights and lawyers are not allowed to represent them. If animals had the right to legal representation and lawyers could accept their cases on a contingency basis, animal abuse would soon become very, very expensive. The prospect of financial ruin and/or prison can to wonders to modify antisocial behavior.

What we need is a National Bill of Rights for Animals. And we need it urgently. When economic times are bad, animal abuse increases.

I mean, if the Swiss can do it, why can't we?