Scary stuff about the dog food, isn't it? And I thought it was really cruel of Menu Foods to force people to either ring up or log onto a web-site to get specific information as to which brands were affected. Lots of people still don't have computers. Some people don't even have telephones. I've heard it said that even in America, elderly people below the poverty line sometimes eat pet food themselves -- they certainly did in Australia.

I was scared, I admit it. I raced into the kitchen and read all the small print on our expensive little packets of Cesar Canine Cuisine. No gluten. Whew!

But I have to say, I was amazed to find out what does go into this stuff. Its mostly beef by-products, poultry by-products and meat by-products. What kind of meat, other than beef, lamb or pork? I probably don't want to know. When they refer to by-products they're obviously talking about ground up bones and spinal cords and such things. But they don't want to tell us that, because it would freak us out. As well it should. I mean, what if it turns out that dogs can contract Mad Cow disease? See what I mean by scary?

And then -- just out of curiosity -- I looked at the fine print on last night's Lean Cuisine. Glazed Chicken, 220 calories. (Yeah, I'm still dieting) Contains chicken tenderloins, high fructose corn syrup -- what? High fructose corn syrup? That's absolutely the worst thing in the whole world for anyone who's trying to lose weight! I feel sabotaged, betrayed. I'm starving myself and eating high fructose corn syrup? Mean Cuisine, that's what it is.

I know, I know. It's our responsibility to read all the fine print. That's why it's there. Trouble is, as I get older and older, the print gets smaller and smaller. And there's more of it. Maybe that's why the world is going to end in 2012.