Once in a decade, life hands you the perfect line.

My moment came last night.

When older dogs are neutered, their scrotums sometimes swell slightly. If this happens, one applies an ice pack. So there I was with the ice pack wrapped in a towel, trying to persuade Bao that this was going to make it all better. Bao was -- needless to say -- unconvinced.

We were jockeying for position when the telephone rang. It was a self-righteous young woman soliciting money for a charity. "I'm sorry," I said. "I just don't have time for this right now. I'm busy."

"What could you possibly be doing that is more important than a needy child?" she asked officiously.

"Actually," I replied, "I'm icing my dog's scrotum."