Cleveland’s got an odd approach to tourism.
The Cleveland Museum of Art is hosting a major exhibition, “Barcelona & Modernity: Picasso, Gaudi, Miro, Dali”. The only other venue will be the Metropolitan Museum of Art, in New York. That’s the good news.
The bad news is that at the moment, the Museum of Art is closed, for renovations. The whole museum. It’s been closed since January. However, they didn’t exactly announce this far and wide. My up-to-date AAA guide suggests business as usual, which is why I’m here.
“Barcelona & Modernity” sounds great, but it doesn’t open until in mid-October.
I pick up a copy of City Visitor Cleveland.
Maybe there’s something else to do.
There isn’t.
Mind you, lots of things have happened in Cleveland. The padded bicycle seat was invented in Cleveland. So were the modern golf ball, the automatic windshield wiper, and LifeSavers. Sammy Kaye, Bob Hope and Paul Newman were born here.
And there are other attractions, besides the Art Museum. There’s the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Unfortunately, I’m not into rock and roll.
There’s also an exhibit about Jane Goodall and Chimpanzees at the Museum of Natural History, where you can “learn to walk and talk like a chimp.” Ummm, no.
There’s the Stan Hywet Hall and Gardens, but that’s in Akron, back the way we came.
And at the Cleveland Zoo we can “get nose-to-nose with the zoo’s endangered jaguar cubs,” which doesn’t appeal to Bao at all.
That’s about it – except for a Trolley Tour that covers more than 100 points of interest.
Except there aren’t any.
Seems to me that when your only real tourist attraction is “one of America’s leading comprehensive museums” (Brenda Lewison’s words, not mine) you figure out a way to keep it open while you’re doing renovations. Or you do your renovations in the winter, when nobody’s around. Brenda Lewison (editor of City Visitor Cleveland) nonetheless makes a valiant attempt to be cheerful about it all. Her chirpy message to tourists concludes with these words: “So, welcome to Cleveland – and be sure to plan your return this fall!”
I don’t think so.
Next stop: South Bend, Indiana.